STiLL iN L0VE...

 feeling blue...

im in a hold. still in love wit him... IM TOO YOUNG TO BE HELD DOWN! he doesnt knw wat he wants... maybe we should be friends? he wants 2 be together "someday"... when? after this there's NO GOiN BACK...

 im stayin   calm. coo. & collected.   and there's a smile on my face even tho deep down inside my heart is     b.r.e.a.k.i.n...     im still keepin my composure.

i really dont wanna give up on this love.... everyones sayin i should free my heart... "JUST LOVE LOST?"  im still in love with him. i cant explain it... he's got my heart i cant turn away. no one else comes close...

despite all tha lil arguments, im happy bein wit him. i really wanna make this work. it hurts so bad that he'd rather be FRiENDs...

i knw i cant justify tha way he's takin my love 4 granted but as stupid as this is gonna sound... { im still in love wit him }

i just keep thinkin maybe, things are gonna turn around...

he's so insecure... i juss wish he knew how much i love him...

1. does he love me? 2. lost interest? 3. someone else?plz answer yes double no...

honestly tha shadyest part is that i think that he might jus be lookin 4 a good excuse 2 end it... so i wont knw tha truth... is tha love gone? he's sayin he's not ready 4 a relationship wit ne body... he doesnt want tha extra drama in his life... and that we got along better just as friends... he keeps tellin me he's c0nfuSeD?

everybody has those bad days and

TODAY iS DEFiNETELY...

"ONE OF THEM DAYZ"...

i just hope that tomorrow will be better..

GOODNiTE! XOXO...

CURRENT MOOD:

well im back on this xanga sh*t again... all this drama i juss need 2 4get... im lettin it go-------------------------------->

2nites ago i was in the emergency room throwin up EVERYTHING! maybe my body was gettin rid of all tha bad crap inside of me like how im doin with tha drama around me... i got rid of 15 pounds of garbage! holy sh*t thats a lot of thowin up! yeeeesh i know! jocey was there wit me... poor thing she thought i was gonna die!...( i thought i was gonna die 2 tho) lol... well now im feelin a lil better, my stomachs sore but im not throwin up ne more! YAAAY! grammy's cookin chicken enchiladas, hopefully i dont yak it!

"g"'s up in washington... i called- he was busy... sounded happy--- thats good.... he called me--- talked 4 a minute--- he was busy again--- said he'd call back--- and didnt.... watever...

i can treat these couple of days as my "vacation" too! from everyone! my room is my sanctuary... my music is my therapy... tha sun shinnin thru my window is my comfort... 4 sum reason im at peace and i know that i've found my center... my own happiness was in me all along...

i dont miss anyone... i dont need anyone... i dont want anything... i am unreachable 4rm the world... i am floating on a cloud all of my own... and im keepin my head up becuz all there is below me is chaos... i am rising to the STARS...

i am letting go -------------------------------------> 

CURRENT M00D:

I HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM!! I HATE HIM!!! EVERYONE WAS RITE!!! I HATE EVERYONE!!! HERE COMES THA BITCH!!!

NOW IMA GET WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CURRENT MOOD:

WELL.... damn.. finally back 2 this xanga sh*t... its hella early but i feel relaxed and rested.... koo koo...

YESTERDAY... omg! it waz like WoOoAH...!... ( = hmmm... yea...

thats it 4 now...

ahahhahahaha 40 dayz! and 40 nightz! ahahahahahaha!!!